Day 8: I have a Dickensian relationship with numbers.

Numbers are the best of friends; numbers are the worst of friends. As friends, numbers keep a roof over my head. I am an accountant and love it. You can do anything with numbers. Most of my hobbies include numbers too. Knitting requires a lot of math, from measurements to number of stitches per inch, as does spinning, with its ratio of revolutions of the wheels to the number of twistes per inch. My music is also nothing but numbers. If you an count to four, you can count music. That doesn't mean you can dance though. THAT'S a whole different thing.

As a worst of friends, numbers have tortured me almost all my life. There are the numbers which dash through my head as I count the steps to every staircase I encounter. There are the ceiling tiles which need counting. Finally, there is the motherf*&$#ing number on the Met Life height weight chart; the devil incarnate. That number has cause me more anxiety that the SAT, the contractor's license exam and the GMAT.  Combined.

The first time I encounter the devil, I was 17 and having my college entrance physical. I had this new, hotshot doctor who had all the answers. there I was, 17, an athlete with muscle definition in my back, arms and legs from waterskiing. At 5'9" and 175 I measured 42-27-41. The Commodores wrote a song about me. This doctor decided I was 45lbs. overweight and wanted me on a diet.

I am of Scandinavian stock. My great-grandfather was probably a reindeer herder in Finland. I am built to withstand the deprivations of the the northern climes. So where was this 45 lbs supposed to come from? Certainly not my butt, which was defined, not my thighs with a crease between the quads and hamstrings, and most certainly not from my belly. Oh, yeah, I didn't have one of those. But the number on the chart said I had to lose 45 lbs!

There was no way I could add any physical activity. I was a cheerleader, I waterskiied, swam hours a day, ice skated in the winter, bicycled, played volleyball, etc. So I started a diet and lost 5 lbs. That was the beginning of a lifetime of yo-yo dieting. Thank you doctor.

Last night was tough. I had my delicious London broil from The Local Butcher Shop. I scored it and rubbed it with fresh, chopped garlic and ground pepper before broiling. Along with my left over cauliflower, and followed by an apple, it was a very satisfying meal. Yet it wasn't enough. I was full and wanting more and the hard thing was, I didn't know what! I had a slice of the focaccia I had made to fill the corners and it seemed to work. Now I have to work on discovering why I needed more.  If I can make this breakthrough....