Gearing up

I have been gearing up for my October Unprocessed Challenge. It has been a week and a half since I stepped back onthe scale and got the begeesus scared out of me. I have wrtten everythign down and I have goten ont he scale every day. The improvement has been dramatic! I am down almost 8 lbs in the week and a half. I hope to be down the entire 13 by October 1 when the challenge begins again.

I've thought about relationships a lot lately my relationships with food, family, friends, and myself. They're all tied together. It has been a difficult process learning to live alone again and enjoy life with myself, having only myself to rely on. Food got to be so comforting when I hurt. A bowl of popcorn with double butter helped when I missed Jon. I found a body pillow helped with those feelings. I could snuggle up with it rather than have a sandwich. When I start to get cravings, I slip on his old nightshirt and feel him with me.

I now keep a stock of Hallmark movies on the DVR for the nights I want to cry. I'm down to about one night a week with a movie and box of Kleenex. This past weekend I watched Pollyanna and cried my eyes out. It hurt and it felt good. Maybe by the time the next year passes I will beable to turn off the movies. I hope so.

How to piss me off in one easy lesson

It's not always about nutrition. This article, http://news.yahoo.com/study-questions-much-better-organic-food-071356280.html, popped up yesterday. I don't eat organic because of it's enhanced nutritional value. Duh. A green bean is a green bean. I eat it because it does not have added chemicals. It's not because of the chemicals I can wash off either, it's because of the chemicals absorbed through the roots. Vegetables and fruit don't grow larger because of the chemicals on the outside, they grow large because of the chemicals absorbed from the soil into the vegetable.

The meat I choose is growth hormone free. I don't need extra growth hormones in my diet. I don't mind if the animals have some antibiotics if they get sick, but I do mind the antibiotics if they are given to the animal to prevent disease because the animals live in filthy conditions, crowded like my ancestors in steerage on their way to America. I prefer my meat to have been raised in a pasture, allowed to graze and live a stress free life until it hits my plate.

While the title of the article suggests all food is created equal, this was buried in the middle of the article:

"Her team did find a notable difference with antibiotic-resistant germs, a public health concern because they are harder to treat if they cause food poisoning.

Specialists long have said that organic or not, the chances of bacterial contamination of food are the same, and Monday's analysis agreed. But when bacteria did lurk in chicken or pork, germs in the non-organic meats had a 33 percent higher risk of being resistant to multiple antibiotics, the researchers reported Monday in the journal Annals of Internal Medicine.

That finding comes amid debate over feeding animals antibiotics, not because they're sick but to fatten them up. Farmers say it's necessary to meet demand for cheap meat. Public health advocates say it's one contributor to the nation's growing problem with increasingly hard-to-treat germs. Caroline Smith DeWaal, food safety director at the Center for Science in the Public Interest, counted 24 outbreaks linked to multidrug-resistant germs in food between 2000 and 2010."

Regardless of what the "study" says, I will continue to eat organic. I feel better, my skin has improved dramatically and I have lost weight. The cost remains close to what I was spending in my pre-organic days as I am satisfied with smaller portions.

Whew

I was afraid that it would be so hard to come back from the edge. I have proven, once again, that I have the capacity to do this as long as I use the tools at my disposal. I HAVE TO WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING I EAT, EVEN THE RIBS AT THE CAPRI LOUNGE. Once it's written down, I can make adjustment around it. For instance. I went out Sunday evening with friends to check out a blues venue. While we listened to the first set we could smell something delicious wafting through the venue. I couldn't help it, I got hungry!. Well, of course I was going to try the barbecued ribs. AWESOME! Tender, meaty, the right amount of spicy sauce, delicious. There were four of them on the plate and I ate them all. While I hadn't budgeted for them, I did have some room in my food plan for the day for a little more protein.

When I got home, I signed right into my software and plugged them in. I wasn't as far over for the day as I had thought! I didn't have to feel guilty. To make up for it, I cut 200 calories of protein from my Monday allotment. My years of accounting are paying off, lol. It's a balancing act and it is paying off. As of this morning I am down 5 of the 13 lbs. Those smaller jeans by Christmas are looking possible. I only have two more sizes to make my original goal, and honestly, if I stick to my plan as closely as possible, I could easily make that by Christmas. The only thing holding me back is myself.

I am back...

If I had to write and essay titled "What I Did On My Summer Vacation" it would read like this: I took a roller coaster ride to hell and back. I reached the seventh level of hell and returned relatively intact.

The last of April I took a week long vacation (much needed) to New York City and Montreal. I spent the second anniversary of my husband's death in Montreal eating French food, drinking wine and missing him like hell. Overall, I had a wonderful time travelling alone on planes and trains, using public transportation and talking to strangers. I made friends all over the eastern seaboard. And then I came home to my real life.

A week after I returned home I hit my lowest weight yet. I started to feel happy. Then I started to feel guilty for being happy. I was a widow; I was never supposed to be happy again.

After Jonathan died, I didn't have either the time or the inclination to mourn. I knew he was not healthy. I knew he had a bad heart. I knew we didn't have forever. I stayed rational, shedding tears on occasion, but never really mourning. I stayed numb for two years until I started to feel happy. The floodgates released and I was finally able to be angry with Jon for leaving me. I cried. I bitched. I found a great widow's website and finally started to heal, not of course, until I gained back 13 lbs and was barely able to get into my skinny jeans. I had become irregular and grumpy. I still ate healthy food, just too much of it.

There is nothing harder in this world than getting back on track. I got an announcement about the October Unprocessed Challenge coming up for 2012. It has almost been a year since I started this and it was time to reconfirm. I pledged to go unprocessed again. I thought about waiting until October to start, but I could be back where I started last year by that time!  I signed onto my weight loss software again. I hadn't kept track of my food diary since late May. Shit. then I realized I hadn't blogged since April 23, before my vacation. Well, no wonder. First things first; back to keeping track of my food intake. 4 days later I am down 3 lbs. Whew. I'm going to wait another week before trying those jeans again.

I didn't just overeat this summer, no I made big changes in my life. I made progress in other areas which will help with this healthy eating process.

I cleaned out my closets this summer. I donated all the clothes which were too big for me, threw away those which were beyond redemption, sorted through boxes, reorganized, reorganized and reorganized again. I cleared out one entire closet in this little studio.

In addition, I opened up my head, took my brain out and examined it. I disassembled the whole thing, looked at all the pieces, threw a couple worn out pieces away and reassembled it into some semblance of order. I reinstalled with interesting results. I am a new woman. I am more stable, gentler (unless you say something stupid about being a widow) and even happier.

I am back on track.

This is so tough to write...

Last week was more fun than you can possible  imagine. It was also fraught with food, wine, Bourbon and more food. I debated putting it all in writing, but here goes.

I only went to the gym on Monday and Tuesday last week. I know. I vowed to make it 4 days and only made it two. It went downhill from there. Wednesday I had a semi-work-related wine and food tasting thing at my local winery. There were several caterers showing off their stuff. Oh my. The bacon caramel corn and collard green wrapped sushi. The build your own bruschetta with heirloom tomatoes and olive oils. And cupcakes. We sipped wine and tried everything. Somethings twice. Luckily they ran out of bacon caramel corn before I could go back for a third. When we wrapped this even up, we went to my local watering hole and I had a couple of shots of Bourbon. And, even though we didn't need it, we ordered two small pizzas and some deviled eggs. By the time the winery staff showed up the kitchen was closed so we wandered across the street for some Mexican food. I thought I would get a small burrito (there were two larges sizes on the menu) and it turned out to be enough to cover a platter. It went home with me and became breakfast. I woke at 4 am with severe GERD and almost throwing up. Two doses of baking soda later...I managed to get back to sleep. Then at noon, Sarah (who had been with me last evening) stopped by and held up a note which said, "I need grease." So, instead of a healthy lunch at work, we opted for grease next door. A patty melt, fries and vanilla milkshake later, I was comatose. Dinner that evening was at Scott's Seafood Restaurant. Nothing like more Bourbon and popcorn shrimp to top off a binge. During dinner, I kicked off my shoes. When I tried to slide them back on, they barely fit. My feet were swollen from all the salt. I tried detoxing on Friday and Saturday and did pretty good. But I was up in Sacramento and across the street from Marie's donuts. I needed coffee Sunday morning, didn't I? Well, Marie's apple fritters are off the hook. So are the glazed old-fashioned donuts. Don't forget the buttermilk bars. I had one of each with my coffee. In an effort to even out the fats, sugars, etc., I had a pint of blueberries for lunch. All followed by sushi for dinner.

I did not have the guts to get on the scale throughout this binge. This mornign I faced the music. All that food, no gym. I was prepared to throw myself off the bridge for having undone all the work of the past 6 months in one week. I was down 1.2 lbs from my previous low. I hadn't even seen my previous low in a month. I don't know what happened. I'm just going to take it as a gift. Rather like the cop not catching me speeding.

I bought them...

Two pair of the next size smaller jeans are now in my closet. OMG, they're tight but I can zip them up. I may have to wear them once before I could sit on a plane all night with them. I certainly can't put them through the drier before vacation!!! It doesn't matter; they are mine and they zip.

Slowly....

My massage therapist stopped over last evening. I skipped the gym for a massage. I'm trading massages for marketing advice.

Ralph does a fabulous job. I hadn't had a really good massage for months and he was almost afraid to touch my back. I have had legendary knots in my back. I used to commute 80 miles each way and spend 10 hours at my desk. No exercise of any kind. I was held together by the knots in my muscles. He was SHOCKED at how my back was almost knot free. I highly recommend him.

And I still don't hurt from the crunches. Hm. I suppose that means I need to do more of them. I am NOT going to do an hour of them. I'm thinking I will add one more machine every week to my routine. Slowly. By the end of 2012 I should be really fit.

There's this guy at the gym...

I don't know who this guy is, but I watch him. Stalker. He's about my height and stock/muscular. He gets onto the ab machine and spends an hour. AN HOUR OF DOING CRUNCHES!!! Psycho. He goes non-stop. A smooth hour of crunches. I would like to see what's under his tshirt. Oh, sorry, I drifted off there.

So, yesterday, while you all were eating Cadbury eggs, I went to the gym. After my 90 minutes on the bike, I got on the ab machine and managed 4 sets of 10. It took me 2 minutes. I don't feel the effects yet, but I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I'm going to add a new machine every week now. Build up slowly.

I made a comment to a personal trainer yesterday that I will never be a Thoroughbred, I am more of a Clydesdale. He said, "Thoroughbreds tend to have weak ankles and have to retire early." I could kiss him!

I have set a goal. I am leaving on the 28th for New York and want to drop 10 lbs before then. I want to buy the smaller jeans before I go. As of today, I have 9.6 lbs. I can do this because I can deny myself anything for three weeks.

On track...

I had to have one of those meetings in my head this week. You know how it goes. "Susan, you've been doing so well. What happened this week?" I answered, "Well, there was the dinner out. Twice. Oh, and lunch at work was really good so I ate it instead of my packed lunch. Oh, then there was the breakfast/brunch with Sarah. I guess I shouldn't have had the hash browns and toast with the omelet." There was no real damage done, but there was no weight loss. In spite of going to the gym 5 days. It's time to straighten up again.

I also had not been utilizing my software efficiently. Yes, I still did the daily weigh in, but I wasn't always putting it in the software and I had been skipping entering all my meals. It's so easy to have more if you're not accounting for it. Always the accountant. It's no different than not entering data into my ledgers at work. Reconciling the accounts is a bitch if you don't keep track. So, I entered all my meals yesterday and probably cut my calorie intake by 500 because I had to account for it. I thought about a snack at 9 pm but knew I would have to write it down. I chose to skip it.

I also had not been having my 8 glasses of water while I was at work. I was maybe doing 4. Tsk, tsk. 4 is not enough. If I finish one 32 oz glass just before lunch, I eat less. If I knock back another during the afternoon, I eat less dinner. Duh. It's so simple.

The payoff...

Okay. I had a follow up doctor's appointment on Thursday and had my blood work redone on Friday morning. My doctor was very pleased with me. Then the lab work came back. TADA!!!! Everything had improved! I am no longer prediabetic. My cholesterol is under control. My kidney functions have improved. There might just be something to this diet and exercise thing. Maybe. I feel so much better than I did 6 months ago. So I need to reward myself....

With a  trip to New York City!!! I take the red-eye on Saturday, April 28 and return a week later. I'll be staying with a friend in Brooklyn and exploring on my own all week. How cool is that?

I have to work extra hard this month to get even more fit before I go. Yes, I will be walking a lot, but I will be away from my own kitchen and my gym. I can't allow this to derail me now. Go, go, go!

The gym...

Two weeks into this gym thing. Whewwwwww. I'm up to an hour on the bike and a round on the Universal weight machine. I've been five days a week thus far. I'm just trying to get four in a week and some weeks it will be six, others two. It will even out, I'm sure. It's been fun. No, really! I am enjoying feeling my body move and work. It's already noticeable.

I wore those slacks I talked about a while back. they fit even better than the last time I tried them on and was excited. I was ecstatic today.

In addition, three people commented on my weight loss. Woohoo.

OUCH %#@*&

It's my own fault. My butt hurts. It's not from using the muscles, it's from sitting on the exercise bike seat. Bicycle Butt, a horrific gym syndrome. All the tissue between my skin and the sacrum are tender. I'll have to take some Tylenol before heading the the gym this evening.

Other than the pain, it was another good workout. My goals are in place and I'm going to reach them. I made it an hour on the bike last evening and would like to get up to an hour and a half. I'm not straining, I'm putting in the time. I'm not concerned about pretending I'm doing the Tour de France; I'm just gently working my body and heart. If I get to the point I can do 12 miles a day, I'll be happy. My upper body is doing pretty good too. I'm at 4 sets of 5 reps on the Universal gym. My end goal is 5 sets of 10 reps each. That will give me all the strength I need. I don't need to add weights to bulk up; I just need to work the muscles until they're tired.

Now the exciting part: as I was leaving the gym, the most amazing man was coming in. He smiled and said hello to this hot, sweaty, tired woman. If I go a few minutes later, I will probably run into him again. I'll stalk him until I meet him. Now, THERE is motivation to workout.

This gym stuff

I am surprised how easy it has been to get back into the gym routine. The last time I belonged to a gym...well, it was the heyday of disco and the Jazzercise classes played Earth Wind and Fire. I was in my 20s. The "trainers" on the women's side wore Danskins, fishnet stockings and spike heels. How things have changed!

I show up in my sneakers, baggy knit pants, t shirt and headphones. My pants have pockets for my IPod and keys. There is no looking pretty in this workout. I get on the bike and ride. I'm up to 45 minutes already. Today I'm going to do an hour. Then I head to the Universal machine for some upper body. I'm only doing 3 sets of 5 reps each with no added weights. I'm not looking to bulk up, so I will increase to 5 sets of 10 reps and then think about adding weight. I'm trying to tone, not muscle up. I have enough muscle mass, thank you very much. All my years of sports left me with a solid basis. Water skiing gave me thighs, swimming gave shoulders. I'm shooting for that Wonder Woman look!

Well, I've gone and done it now...

A couple of days ago I noticed it was much easier to go up and down the stairs. I live in a 3rd floor walk-up with 32 steps. Some days it has been a daunting task to face the stairs. However, it has never been an option; my bed is at the top of the stairs. I've also planned my grocery store trips so I can carry everything up in one load if possible. It has limited the amount and weight I can buy in any one trip. And just for fun, I have a torn medial meniscus in my left knee. The stairs have not been my friend.

As the weight has melted off, the stairs have become easier. I almost sprinted up them last evening. So it was time to take the next step.

I had been on a fabulous date with a man who works out 5 to 6 times a week, a retired basketball player. Long, lean and totally unlike me. I'm built like my ancestors, the Finnish reindeer herders who are built low to the ground with short legs and big butts so they don't blow over in  the wind in Lapland. If my legs were proportionate to my torso, I would be 6' tall. No matter how much weight I lose, I will always have heavy thighs. In the horse world, I am the Clydesdale, not the thoroughbred. Muscles. So, this guy thought I was just fine. Really. He said so. And I didn't even ask. So, all day Tuesday, I thought about the gym up the street from my apartment. I could walk to it.

I joined and paid a year in advance on Tuesday evening. That will get me through the 60th birthday. Then walked home. Signing up was all the drama I could handle that day.

Last evening, Wednesday, I went to work out for the first time. This is not a fancy gym; this is a GYM. Machines and weights. It is not filled with gym rats and body builders. It's filled with people like me or people who were like me. I managed 30 minutes on the bike and 15 minutes of upper body work on the universal. And then a massage. Hey, a girl has to take care of herself!

A stellar day...

I woke, snuggled in my flannel sheets and down comforter, warm and happy. I was looking forward to stepping on the scale this morning. I dashed to the bathroom to get rid of any excess weight and put the coffee on. The aroma of Peet's filled the apartment. I tripped the mechanism with my toe and waited for my signal to step on. And waited for the number to appear. YES!! It happened!! I broke the first major weight loss goal!!! I SHATTERED it by 1.8 lbs.

I can't even tell you how good this feels. I'm almost needing to buy another smaller pair of jeans. All my pants are all too loose. Thank goodness for drawstrings. At least I can cinch them up for a while yet. And even more exciting, three years ago I bought a pair of slacks which were just too small. They are cream crepe and fully lined. I kept them in the closet hoping one day. Well, today is the day. When I bought them, I could get them on and that was about it. The pockets bulged and the thighs were creased and there was no way I could ever sit down in them. A month ago I tried them on and the pockets didn't bulge anymore, they weren't creased, but the lining was too tight for me to sit down. Well, here I sit in them, comfortable. I can wear these for another 30 lb. loss and they too will have to go. Thank goodness for drawstrings!

This has been an epic, milestone day and it's not even 10 am.

No end....

Let's go back to December when I had my blood work done. My creatinine was .1 higher than it should be. In 2010 is was .15 higher than it should be. So, it's improved a bit. Elevated creatinine shows kidney damage or loss of kidney function. I have been freaking out. So, I had to go to a "Care of the Kidney Class" yesterday. Two and a half hours of kidney talk. Orgasmic.

I learned a lot though. My Glomular Filtration Rate was low and that made me nervous. Well. That's just a calculation based on age, race and creatinine level. 1. I am not a typical 59 y/o. 2. I do not have average musculature. 3. the level was probably high because I was moderately dehydrated because I had been fasting. They tried to fit me into someone else's box. Again. I will retake the test while hydrated and see what happens.

I did learn that I was eating too much protein. Damn. If I cut the protein, I have to cut the carbs and fat more to keep my percentages in line. That means I will get no food. I get a total of 5.5 oz of high quality protein a day. I'm going to either starve or get thin. But my kidneys will be GREAT.

Sensitivity

I have been in a vicious cycle and I think it's coming to an end. I have been addicted to Carmex. Seriously addicted. I have at least 9 tubes going. One always in my pocket, one on my night stand, two in the kitchen, one on my desk at home, two on my desk at work and one in my purse. Oh, and one in the car. I would panic if I couldn't reach for one without having to move. Oops, I forgot the one by my reading chair. I put it on unconsciously. And my lips burned. Sizzled. Ouch.

I have been so addicted I would buy all of the tubes on the rack in the drugstore just to keep a stash on hand. I have cleaned out Target's supply. I was worried I couldn't get it if I needed it. What a junkie!

Turns out, it was the ingredients in my whitening toothpaste which started the problem. Something in my new toothpaste made my lips burn. Ouch. So on went the Carmex. And on went the Carmex. Ouch. And then it was time to brush my teeth again. So I went cold turkey with the Carmex, thinking the need to apply would disappear. The withdrawal pain has been intense. My lips cracked, peeled and bled. I looked like I was surviving a winter in Wisconsin. After two days I realized it had to be the toothpaste so I started brushing with baking soda and FINALLY, I am getting some relief. The burn is easing, the cracks are healing and I am feeling better. I have switched to olive oil on my lips for now. I need to find an organic lip balm. Maybe I can get away with no lip balm at all once I get through this. Hm. Maybe I will get enough olive oil on my lips when I cleanse my face twice a day.

And about the olive oil as a cleanser: it's all I use now. A half a teaspoon rubbed on my face and neck does the trick. Nothing fancy there at all. I follow with a rinse and towel dry and a cotton ball of witch hazel. I had someone guess my age at 38 the other day. I was wearing mascara and a touch of blush. Between drinking a half gallon of water a day, the organic food and the olive oil cleanser, my skin is vastly improved. I'll keep doing anything which makes me appear 20 years younger than I am.

Eating on Super Bowl Sunday.

I started with a good base breakfast. I roasted 4 Roma tomatoes and steamed some broccoli. I scrambled two eggs and poured them in a heated 8" saute pan sprayed it with Coconut oil spray. I dumped 1 cup of roasted tomatoes and a cup of chopped broccoli on top of the eggs and covered the pan. 4 minutes later I had a savory omelet! I'm so full, I'm almost aching. There were a total of 197 calories, 10 grams of fat and fifteen grams of protein. 41% fat, 29% protein and 30% carbs.

Later, I am roasting a pork tenderloin, peeling a couple of oranges and having a glass of Bourbon. Okay, a four oz. shot of Bourbon. And I will still have to consume 697 calories. I could have three more omelets!

Big Day.

No, this has nothing to do with the Super Bowl, I had to buy smaller jeans yesterday. Mine were bagging in the butt and drooping so badly that the crotch was at mid thigh. They were just uncomfortable!  So, here I am with brand new jeans. My two too large pair are being donated. On my way to work tomorrow I will drop them off. OUT!

I spent yesterday with the girlfriends. I was limited on what I could eat and I didn't have a problem with it. I had some organic chicken sausage and lots of fresh vegetables followed by an apple for dessert. I was happy with what I had. My very best friend had a problem though. First, she offered me a croissant. No, thank you. I explained that I had given up gluten and dairy because they made me feel uncomfortable (more on that in a minute). Because I have made this change, I feel fabulous to the nth degree. Every day, all day. She would not let that rest. She said to me. "You could get used to eating them again." I'm not sure what her motivation is, but I don't want to get used to eating them again. I loved the taste of my apple after lunch. It was sweet, juicy and delicious. Cake and icing is too, too sweet!

What I discovered about dairy: I get a sharp, stabbing abdominal pain 30 minutes after eating cottage cheese. It doesn't last long, but why would I want to get used to that again? I had purchased two pints of organic cottage cheese and took a cup to work with me four days last week. The first time it happened I paid attention and knew I needed to try it again. the same thing happened the next two days. Well, that's empirical proof. The fourth day, I ate it after I had my meatballs and didn't have pain, but...I'm sure if I had had the cottage cheese first... So, I have cut out dairy. I'm going to try it in some gluten free pancakes and see if it's okay there.

Am I crazy to choose to feel good all the time?

Eat like a king...

I eat like a king for breakfast, like a prince for lunch and like a pauper for dinner. Who knows how long that saying has been around, but I just heard it and it is working for me.

I used to have steel cut oats for breakfast; I've traded that for 30 grams of protein. Okay, 26 grams or two of my homemade turkey sausages. I have my oatmeal for dinner now. The protein easily carries me through the morning. I might have a mid-morning snack of an orange or apple, but only eat it because I should, not because I'm hungry. A cup of cottage cheese for breakfast will work too. Or three eggs and two pre-made turkey sausages. It's a lot of food! Thank you Dr. Oz for this tip.

I record Dr. Oz everyday and skip through the show when I get home and pick up the info which applies to me. I didn't need the episode on depression and shock therapy, but watch anything on weight loss. I knew protein was my best choice for breakfast and he merely reinforced it and gave me the push I needed. 

I am down 10.6 lbs since Jan. 2.

On track

Well, I survived the cleanse. And I feel pretty good. So, I had this amazing biscuit our kitchen produced. It was light, buttery, a touch of chived and it was still warm. It rocked. Until the pain started. A week without gluten and the first taste set me off. I felt as if I had swallowed a basketball. A spinning, bouncing basketball. I guess I have to stay away from gluten. Or at least cut waaaaay back.

That said, I spent today prepping foods for the upcoming week. I mixed up a batch of meatballs and a couple of pounds of turkey sausage. Mixed, baked and into the freezer. I also finished a pot of chicken, split pea soup. It's pretty amazing stuff.

I started the pot on Friday. I put the organic yellow peas to soak before  left for work. When I got home, I drained them and added a quart of homemade chicken stock, some water and pepper. I left it on low while I walked to the produce market to buy more ingredients. I got a call and was told a couple of co-workers were at a local establishment having a cocktail and would I join them. Well, the pot WAS on low... I folded up my Trader Joe's reusable grocery bag and walked the two blocks to the restaurant for a cocktail. The Sazerac was awesome. So was the second one. We were about finished with the second drink when I mentioned my soup. My friends walked to my place and turned off the stove. A third cocktail, a pizza and some wonderful fried Brussels sprouts and I walked home, put the pot in the fridge and let it sit until today. I grated in a yam, added 1/4 cup of Rocky Mountain salad mix from the Spice House and set it on the heat again. It simmered for a couple of hours and I added a cup of diced chicken. I came up with 10 cups of soup.

1 lb split yellow peas soaked overnight
1 qt chicken stock
water
1 5" yam, peeled and grated
1/4 c Rocky Mountain Seasoning from the Spice House
ground pepper to taste
1 cup diced chicken

Rinse soaked peas, add stock and water to cover. Add spices and pepper. Simmer until peas are soft. Add chicken and heat through. At this point, I measured 9 and a half cups of soup so I added a half cup of water to make 10 cups.
1 cup serving equals 202 calories, 1.68 grams of fat, 17.6 grams of protein, 7.5% fat, 32% protein, 60.5% carbohydrates.  Zero gluten.

Freezing

Amazingly enough, I am not hungry. I'm on Day Four of this cleanse and the only side effect is I AM FREEZING MY ASS OFF! The lack of fuel is making me cold. To add insult to injury, we have had three of the coldest days of the season this week. I have had to keep my space heater on all day at work and wear my fleece jacket. It's a swing coat and covers my lap while I am sitting. I made it especially to wear in the office on cold days. Think Snuggie for work. When I get home, I burrow under a throw made of double layers of polar fleece. I had to break the fast a little and have a glass of wine last evening just to warm me up.

On Day Two, I finally got my butt to the health food store for some organic apple juice to mix the sludge powder into. What a difference! Yes, it still gets thick and gelatinous if you don't slam it down, but at least it tastes better. As I haven't had anything as sweet as juice in a long time, I had to mix it 50/50 with water.

The upside is I've dropped 4.5 lbs this week and am kick starting my new plan for 2012. The downside is I missed lunch at work today. We served my favorite Sticky Eggplant! It's so good, rich, salty and absolutely yummy. There was also chicken chow mein and eggrolls. If I can pass that up, I can do anything.

The little things...

There are two things I really miss about living in my house: Laundry and washing the car. I like washing my car and detailing him. I hate doing laundry. Now I have to go to a car wash and it's not the same as getting out the bucket, sponge and car cleaners. I also have to go down the hall to do my laundry. I have to be dressed. There is no more stripping off in front of the washer either. A mild annoyance some days.

Last Saturday I went to do a large load of flannel sheets. I loaded the washer, poured in my detergent, put in my 4 quarters and NOTHING!!! I tried it a second time and NOTHING!!!. I really wanted to get my flannel sheets back on the bed that morning so I unloaded the machine into my basket and headed to the laundromat. I figured if I was going to pay a premium price for a load, I would fill it as far as possible so I loaded up the basket with everything I thought might need washing. OOPS. I threw in my jeans. I normally wash them and then hang them to dry on my retractable line int he bathroom. Can't have them shrinking up too much, you know. OOPS, not only did the load cost $2.50 (on top of the $2 I already wasted) I threw the jeans in the dryer on hot. HOT, as in shrink-them-so-I'll-never-zip-them-up hot. And the dryer is 25 cents for 6 minutes. When I pulled them out I almost cried, figuring they would have to live in the closet for a while until I lost another 10lbs.

This morning, I decided I really needed to wear those jeans no matter what. I'm going to a basketball game right after work tonight and didn't want to go in a suit. I prepared myself for the fight with the zipper. A deep breath and I stepped in. WHAT??? They slipped right over my hips and buttoned without a stretch. The zipper and pockets laid flat. WHAT???? My changes in food plan and healthy eating are paying off.

The Cleanse

I can't believe I'm doing this, lol. I decided to kick start the diet with a cleanse. I was having a hard time for a week: too many days off, too much free time so I ate too much! I do better with a structured day and prescribed mealtimes. So I am drinking this brown, herbal sludge for a week. The longest 5 days in history. I've made it to day three. I broke down and had some oatmeal last evening, but other than that, it's sludge in apple juice and lots of water on the side.
The first day wasn't too bad because one should be able to do anything for one day. It was no worse than a surgery prep. Day two was okay. I was back to work in my structured environment. Today remains to be seen. I'm looking forward to a nice breakfast Saturday morning.
A real benefit of this is the amount of water I'm drinking. It's 2 glasses after each glass of sludge, 5 times a day. With the sludge, I'm getting 15 glasses of fluid each day. It will be a challenge to keep that up when I am done with this. A glass an hour. All day. At least I have only been up twice each night and I'm happy the bathroom is close.
Oh, oh, oh, and I am off my blood pressure medicine!! I'll go back to my doctor at the end of March and see how it's going. Wish me luck. I want to stay off the meds if I can.

Pretty underwear

I love pretty lingerie; however, it does not love me. I was a 36D by the time I was 15. In the 1960s, that was huge and I could only buy white bras. In my 20s, I wandered into a Victoria's Secret to see what they had. I had seen the ads and was looking for something very sexy. They didn't carry anything over a C cup. Within a couple of years, colors, lace and different styles were available. But I was a DD by then and again, one size to large for pretty lingerie. By the 80s, full-figure designers were making their mark and I became a full-figure model. And I could find beautiful lingerie in my size. It was heaven. I had a drawer full of lacy, colorful bras, panties and teddies. And I went up another cup size and was back to beige and white. The colors came to me again. Lane Bryant does a beautiful line with many, many choices. During the year after my husband died, I gained enough weight to  put me one size too large for the color options. I was back to beige again!  Over the past three months I have lost enough weight to go down that one size. The first thing I did was to stock up on colors. While I know I will never be a 36D again, I will also never go back to beige and white! With each loss in circumference, I get more colors to choose from. I think I would be very happy to be a 40DD. I would be back to my modelling weight and have for more lingerie choices. What more could a girl want?

Chow down

My mentor was in town last evening. He comes to San Francisco regularly for business and we try to have dinner when possible. Last evening was one of those wonderful nights. He always challenges me and keeps pushing me to define my dreams and figure out how I'm going to implement them.

Dinner was at Kuleto's on Powell. I started with a Maker's Mark Manhattan. the second Manhattan arrived before my healthy salad of field greens and vinaigrette. I avoided all the other starches with my choice of entree`: petrale sole on a bed of Blue Lake green beans with sun dried tomatoes and a very tangy olive. Yummy! His fried radicchio was amazing, along with the steamed mussels. Another Manhattan. We shared a tiramisu and didn't finish it. And a final Manhattan. Overall, it was a pretty reasonable dinner. Um, except for the four Manhattans. I think I used up my month's allotment for alcohol.

This morning I was up .2 lbs.  .2. I can live with that! I have to be extremely careful for the next week though.

When he asked me what my next goal is I thought about it a moment and told him I am resting this year and enjoying life. I told him about moving from my big house with the yard and all the upkeep to a studio apartment with no responsibilities. How I no longer commute and got 4 more hours of "ME" time back each day. In a year, that is the equivalent of working full-time for 6 months. I'm working on my reading list and designing sweaters to knit. I'm designing yarns and spinning them. I'm walking all over Alameda and meeting new people. I'm enjoying me.

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Tonight I went out and bought a new bathroom scale. It's one of those electronic ones so there is no cheating by putting more weight on one foot and leaning to the side. The weight is what it is.

This was a huge step for me as I have had a hate/hate relationship with the scale for over 40 years. No matter what, the scale has never been my friend. My weight has never correlated to the number on the damned chart. Even at my thinnest, I was 25 lbs. more than the chart said I was supposed to be. It didn't matter that I was a mass of muscle from water-skiing, swimming, soccer, baseball and mowing two acres of hillside with a push mower. There wasn't an ounce of fat to be found, but my doctor thought I should lose 45 lbs. That decree created a downward spiral into yo-yo dieting and self-loathing.

Just knowing I had to get on a scale would cause me to starve myself for a couple of days before I had to step on. Followed by a mild binge after before I could start the diet again.

I have avoided a scale for years. Even my doctor knows better than to ask. And here I am, the proud (?) possessor of a new scale. I'm hoping that my blog and my friends will keep me on track and keep me from going nuts.

Off to a good start...

I slept in this morning. While I was still waking up and before the coffee was ready I remembered a diet software I used to use 15 years ago. It did all the math for me. I could add special foods, keep track of what I ate when and how much I exercised. It graphed everything for me. As an accountant and an MBA, graphing and tracking is exciting to me. A quick Internet search and I found the updated version of that old software. It's almost orgasmic! The additions and improvements to the tracking system are exciting. I downloaded the program for $39.95. A one time fee, no less!

I got myself entered and set up an exercise plan and food program. I have to track fiber, carbs and fats to keep the cholesterol and blood sugar under control. I'm shooting for the 40% carbs, 30%  fats and 30% protein. It will be easy with this program! If I see I am short of fats (might that be an oxymoron?) I can add a little olive oil and bring me into the ratios I want. I LOVE tracking. I know there are going to be days when entering the data is going to be a pain, but I think getting up a half an hour early and planning the day will be the way to go.

I'll keep you posted on my progress.

Happy New Year!

There's a very good reason I have my lab work done on Dec 30 every year: I have 24 hours to mull the results before NYE and resolution time. Well, my results came back and it's not good. My fasting blood sugar crept up 2 points and my cholesterol went up a couple of points too. My health plan put all lab work in emails a couple of years ago and I can track changes and chart them. I looked at a 3 year trend and have to make even more drastic changes.

Here are my resolutions for 2012:

1. Alcohol - 1 glass of wine when with friends, no more than once a week and NO alcohol at my home.
2. At least three dinners of fish per week.
3. To get up to walking 3 miles a day or biking the same
4. To drop 50 lbs.  I'm whispering that one. If I take care of the other three, this ought to follow.

There it is, in writing, on the Internet. Good thing you cannot hear me screaming.